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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Diana's LiveJournal:

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Sunday, June 16th, 2013
10:41 pm
I'm Back
Well, it has been almost a year since my last update. Since then a lot of things changed, unfortunately for the worse. I am still studying for my certificate, but finding a position is a battle that I seem to be loosing. I still don't have a steady job. I have lost my friends, or at least people I thought were my friends. Let's just say that I hardly have anyone to talk to these days. Still no boyfriend.

Current Mood: depressed
Monday, July 2nd, 2012
10:37 pm
Writer's Block: And the Winner is...
It would be nice to win an AMV contest or two. What I have learned from this year is that my AMVs suck. I know that this is my first try, but I could never be a pro. Not without a T-3 hard drive, some kick ass software, and a mentor who speaks computers.

I have always considered myself a creative person, but yesterday I got a reality check - I am NOTHING. I don't have what it takes to run with the true anime fans. I am just a pathetic wannabe.

It would be nice to achieve something. It would be nice to have some bragging rights. It would be nice to feel good about myself.

Current Mood: blank
Friday, June 8th, 2012
8:16 pm
Writer's Block: Superman
I always admired Spiderman as a superhero. He is down to earth, no pun intended. A geek with a class and a good sense of humor. Where do you get guys like that in real life?

Current Mood: blank
Saturday, June 2nd, 2012
12:21 am
Feeling angry. My friend Mike was trying yet again to make me and Gena Kozlov friends. Let me put it this way. Gena is on my Persona Non Gratis list. It's a very short list, but Gena is in the top 3 category. He was the one who spread all those rumors about me in high school and couple of years after that. I hold him responsible for Paul not seeing me for person I truly am. I don't care if my friend says that Gena has changed. My life because of those rumors is the way it is - SUCKS.

My friend says "forgive and forget". However,I can't and I won't. If I do, Gena would win. He already won - I am a loser. Forgiving will not make me Paul's girlfriend or give me a position in Microsoft. It will not make me happy. It will not take me to the prom or make me go to Japan in 2002. It will not make me have wonderful adventures that could have happened but never did.

I'm not usually a person to hold a grudge, but there are some people who don't deserve forgiveness.

Current Mood: angry
Thursday, May 31st, 2012
8:48 pm
Writer's Block: You're Outta Here
Oh, there are so many movies, and series that should not exist. Such anime as G-Gundam, Second season of Orhpen, couple hundred remakes of classics like Parent Trap, Freaky Friday (latest version), equals to Disney classics, and the list just goes on.

Current Mood: bitchy
Monday, May 28th, 2012
5:41 pm
Writer's Block: Mad for Mullets
I really like dark-haired guys. The reason I'm so hung up on Heero, Van, Sausoke, and Sousuke from the anime, because they are everything I want in the guy. Not very tall, broad shoulders, nice physique... Just look at images on Google. They all remind me of Paul, or about that kid when I was 3. Personality wise... Well, brave, smart, with a good sense of humor. The questions is - where you get an available guy like that in this day and age?

Current Mood: nostalgic
Tuesday, May 15th, 2012
6:15 am
Long Time No See
It's been a while since I have posted. It's just not as much fun without the writing block questions. Before, you pop to LJ once to twice a day to see if you can put your two cents in. Whether it was about my opinion or complaining about Paul, I could relate.

Anyway, I've been busy. 10 years ago, I promised myself I would make 3 Anime Music Video. Why did it take me so long? Because I hoped that things would turn out differently. All of them are love songs. One is how I wish some guy, Paul or someone else would feel about me. The second one is how he would feel about our relationship. The third unfortunately happened - it's a breakup song. Well, there's a 4th AMV, but it's a test-run gone awesome.

I'm not ready to post them yet because I submitted them to the Anime Expo contest. I'm hoping for some awards, although you never know.... Hopefully Inuyasha one will win the View's Choice. I just hope that some fans won't throw the rotten tomatoes at me.

Otherwise, life goes on, for now... Studying, hanging out with my friends and so on.

Current Mood: tired
Thursday, March 22nd, 2012
11:37 pm
Imagination Crisis
First of all, I would like to state that I am kind of upset with LJ doing away with "writer's block" topics. It was nice to read all the questions that inspired an occasional runt from me about my feelings, whatever they were at the moment...

Second, our Dreamweaver class teacher is sick with something that sounds very serious. Our sub is talks too much, makes no sense, and nobody takes him seriously. Midterm is next week, and I have no idea what "midterm project" is. Oh, I also have no idea what's an index page, or how you set it up. Did I mention that I'm behind on practical lessons as well.

I actually started doing some research for the AMV( anime music video). Well, at least for the test run. I want to make few more, but don't know if I can make them by the submission deadline.

I'm behind on watching my shows as well. My "to do" list is 100 miles long and getting longer by the day.

Current Mood: frustrated
Friday, March 2nd, 2012
7:45 pm
Writer's Block: Spring Cleaning
1. Low self-esteem
2. Guilt
3. Overeating
4. My feelings for Paul
5. Anger about my former coworkers

Current Mood: determined
Wednesday, February 15th, 2012
10:31 am
Writer's Block: Tossing and Turning
Freaky dream? I have plenty of those. Lately, I have been dreaming several dreams about cats. They are different every time, but they have a similar theme. In those dreams,rescue a kitten. In one dream, I almost ran over an orange tabby while driving a car. In the second dream, I had to rescue a gray tabby from a shelter. The weirdest part is both cats talked.

Current Mood: confused
Tuesday, February 14th, 2012
12:48 pm
Writer's Block: Singles Awareness Day
I detest the Valentines day! I have learned about it when I moved to the US 19 years ago. For 19 of those years, I never celebrated it properly due to me never having a real boyfriend. I think it's a commercial holiday designed by flower/gift/jewelry/candy companies, and an excuse for the romantic neglect for the other 364 days among couples.

Current Mood: angry
Wednesday, February 8th, 2012
9:17 pm
Writer's Block: Vision Test
Yes, it happened to me. However, just like my all crushes, it's one-sided feeling. In addition, instead of a blessing, it's a curse. It's been 18.5 years, and I still can't get over him.

Current Mood: angry
Monday, February 6th, 2012
10:45 pm
Writer's Block: Tough Choices
No tough choices here. Love would be the thing I would give up. Really, what's the point to love when nobody ever loves you back. It's useless. As for family and friendships, I would keep the two. After all, they are the only things that I have in this life.

Current Mood: apathetic
Saturday, January 28th, 2012
12:11 pm
Writer's Block: ONTD Games Giveaway
As a kitsune (fox spirit), I think I should hang out with my own kind. Therefore, I would choose Star Fox as my BFF and possible boyfriend. Really, the character is everything I want in a real person: brave, handsome, loyal, and has a nice tail...

Current Mood: amused
Wednesday, January 25th, 2012
11:09 pm
Writer's Block: Opposite Day
My opposite? Well, she's beautiful,happy, social, popular, successful,loved by everyone,lucky,everything goes her way, admired by men, independent,positive,has purpose in life,graceful,married, has a dog or a cat and children.

Current Mood: apathetic
Monday, January 2nd, 2012
11:06 am
Writer's Block: Thank You Month
Last time I said "thank you" was yesterday. However, I'm trying to keep remembering to thank people as much as possible. It's just polite.

Current Mood: awake
Thursday, November 10th, 2011
8:44 am
Writer's Block: Hand me a tissue, please.
I cried last Sunday. My life is pathetic, and getting more pathetic every day. There is nobody who is or willing to help me. It's too late for everything to change.

Current Mood: apathetic
Saturday, November 5th, 2011
11:27 pm
Writer's Block: Sheep in wolf’s clothing
No blessing in disguise for me. My whole life is one big mistake. However, in a year I will correct that.

Current Mood: blank
Wednesday, November 2nd, 2011
12:21 pm
Writer's Block: Secret love
If I ever had a secret admirer, he was so secret that I never found out about it. No special notes, or anything like that, ever. It's been 14 years since I have been a teenager, and I never had a real boyfriend in my life. Than again, what man would ever truly love me?

Current Mood: blank
Friday, October 28th, 2011
9:45 am
Writer's Block: R.I.P
When I die, I want to be buried. I want a nice coffin, in which I would rest forever. I want my body washed, pained and dressed into a wedding dress. It seems that I will never get married in real life, so I might as well have fun when I'm dead. Also I want some anime male character doll to be dressed as a groom and placed beside me. If I had a choice, I would be buried with someone I love, or right beside him. However, since no such man exist, a doll will do. Oh, and I want the chorus from a particular song playing while the casket is being lowered. This song is from one or my favorite childhood films - Guest from the Future.

Current Mood: contemplative
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